poetry project #7: false comfort

late at night

when the lights are out

and i lay alone

with the faint sound

of trains passing

i place a pillow

against my back

and close my eyes

and dream she is there

no one special

she may not exist

but as stressed

as the day can be

the thought of being alone

is usually too much to bear

i imagine the years passing

as i drift to sleep

wondering if this figment

is all that can keep me going

night after night

growing old and withered

with the comfort of an imagination

to hide the pain

of an infinite sadness

that grows weary with the years

thinking when my time grows close

and i take my last gasp of air

i bet i wished i seized the night

instead of the wasted years alone