poetry project #6: what if

late one night sitting in the summer heat chainsmoking
gazing through the darkened haze at the stars above
the light radiated through obscurity like a vivid illusion
a cool breeze carried the smoke across the sky
in the brief moment i uttered a silent confession
as my friend sat down his nightly elixir of escape
he shook his head staring at me wondering what dream i called out to
i sat back silent, i was contemplating a childhood crush
a brilliant admiration that i only wished tangible
as the stars began to blossom across the heavens
i could clearly see her eyes and the smoke shifted into her hair
remembering a similar night in my youth her vision was still just as clear
you know, it's amazing how some things never leave you
and how such nights can bring them back
i chased the whatifs in the nightly sky as a star shot across
i closed my eyes in that brief moment and i could hear her voice
like a fool in my childhood never exclaiming my admiration
i vowed that night, as i made my wish, to take a chance and to live in the now