poetry project #8: bleak

vintage seduction

are only memories

that fade to dust

when exposed

to the light

shining through

an empty soul

poetry project #7: false comfort

late at night

when the lights are out

and i lay alone

with the faint sound

of trains passing

i place a pillow

against my back

and close my eyes

and dream she is there

no one special

she may not exist

but as stressed

as the day can be

the thought of being alone

is usually too much to bear

i imagine the years passing

as i drift to sleep

wondering if this figment

is all that can keep me going

night after night

growing old and withered

with the comfort of an imagination

to hide the pain

of an infinite sadness

that grows weary with the years

thinking when my time grows close

and i take my last gasp of air

i bet i wished i seized the night

instead of the wasted years alone

poetry project #6: what if

late one night sitting in the summer heat chainsmoking
gazing through the darkened haze at the stars above
the light radiated through obscurity like a vivid illusion
a cool breeze carried the smoke across the sky
in the brief moment i uttered a silent confession
as my friend sat down his nightly elixir of escape
he shook his head staring at me wondering what dream i called out to
i sat back silent, i was contemplating a childhood crush
a brilliant admiration that i only wished tangible
as the stars began to blossom across the heavens
i could clearly see her eyes and the smoke shifted into her hair
remembering a similar night in my youth her vision was still just as clear
you know, it's amazing how some things never leave you
and how such nights can bring them back
i chased the whatifs in the nightly sky as a star shot across
i closed my eyes in that brief moment and i could hear her voice
like a fool in my childhood never exclaiming my admiration
i vowed that night, as i made my wish, to take a chance and to live in the now

poetry project #5: the peril of cancellation

how much time has really passed
when you click into the deviations
of memories past to obscure your mind
with the unfortunate truth
that their present is flourishing
and yours is left in hiatus

like a bad tv sitcom
you tune your reciever in
for the disappoinment
that you've been cancelled
yet their life has been renewed

if only you could get a cameo
an extra in a scene
one spoken line
so your presence could be known

yet what would you say
nothing to offer
when their lives aspire
and your future seems obstructed

stargazing to the heavens
wishing you could change a rerun
but we all know it's imprint in time

so i recline back and watch my life over
as theirs continues on, wishing i was her equal in the lead

complications of the mind, my daily peril

poetry project #4: mute

i sit here late at night
moment after moment refreshing my mind
screen of a thousand pixels
lets me peer into others lives
alone i sit abandoned
wondering who shares my pain
i find thoughts and dreams
of holding someone close
are what makes me thrive

yet alone in conversation
i peer into others thoughts
to find minds that think alike
but distant by communication
used, tattered, and emotionally distressed
what we sought in our own shattered disillusions
we sought from salvation in text

finding nothing but heartache and turmoil before us
we know nothing of each other
words to a screen are unspoken
faded and slightly jaded
yet mute to each others pain

poetry project #3: the void

once upon a time
in land decadent and diseased
there was a young boy
with a heart pure of fire

one frightfully tepid day
as he meandered languishly
through a labyrinth of chaos
he tripped over a rotted corpse

confused he starred through the empty eyes
hypnotized into an empty void
a sullen future of solitude was shown
a life of torturous proportions

a mist began to surround him
as he examined the deteriorated body
a shiny pistol lay in the hand
and the haze began to penetrate his thoughts

an obscured vision fell before him
as the pistol began to levitate
the implication was evident
the pistol was not destruction but a savior

as he stared into the infinite darkness
the hollow end of fate
with a silent breath he uttered forgiveness
then he closed his eyes

poetry project #2: i created xXemoXx when you were just a nutstain in your daddys underwear

children hard at work to suffer
in the mist of darkness with only a tear to shed
covered in black they hide their faces
fake facade stolen from the misfits
malcontents that wouldn't know punk
if it bitch-slapped their mother
while the devil sodomized their father
high pitched moans of melodrama
rejects from a gothic world lost
you want a story of unblemished love
i created emo when you were just
a nutstain in your daddys underwear
does that make your soul bleed black
to realize your angst is unoriginal
then go ahead, slash your pain out
if you think the world doesn't understand
but don't bitch to me until you've lived
my lucid lithium nightmare
and walked amongst the living dead
in a real padded cell of fear
fuckin' pussies